Because this is just fascinating to me

[mag_pie]

"Children who have an involved father in their lives in the early years show up for school with more of the qualities needed for learning. They are more patient, curious, and confident. They are better able to remain in their seats, wait patiently for their teacher, and maintain interest in their own work."
- Building Blocks for Father Involvement, National Headstart Training Center

Well, that explains a lot about Barney...

Seriously, the more I learn about child development and welfare, the more I understand Barney as not a caricature, but as a real person. :)

Comments

[secondmezzanine.livejournal.com]

Random... what are the effects if they don't have an involved mother in their lives? Hmm.

[magpieinthesky.livejournal.com]

The studies on the importance of fatherhood show that mother-love and father-love are equally important but are really just different in gendered ways. So things like empathy and cautiousness would go down if there weren't an involved mother. But the real issue is that in 84% of cases where two parents aren't together, the father isn't a presence in the child's life. It's due in part to a long history of social programs placing importance of the child's welfare on the *mother's* ability to care for the child and completely excluding the father, history of oppression, incarceration, cultural mores, and many other factors. But the predominant problem is men checking out. Mothers, not so much, but you can bet it's serious when they do.

[secondmezzanine.livejournal.com]

Wow. Thank you so much for this, really. Obviously I have an invested interest lately. It does kind of boggle my mind when a mother checks out. I mean, it's sad that I'm not as bewildered by the man leaving, but I suppose that's just a combo of the whole "it's more typical for a man to leave" and that presumed extra-closeness between a mother and child thing.

Either way... it's so hard to understand why a parent leaves a child. Even if you don't feel ready for kids... it's your child!!

[magpieinthesky.livejournal.com]

Honestly, it could be any number of things - they literally can't take care of the child, whether due to poverty, mental health, drug or alcohol use, the mother might not want the father there for a number of reasons, in a mother leaving the child's case, the child might be a result of rape... But it IS hard on the parent. I don't know of any studies out there, but in the experience of the person who was at my class today who is in charge of COUPLES-based parenting and involving the father where he may have been absent for any number of reasons before and trying to help eliminate those reasons, those fathers become a lot happier when they are actually involved with their children. It's like they get something back in their lives that they were meaning. It seems to be especially the case for men with multiple children by multiple women.

[secondmezzanine.livejournal.com]

Obviously what you're saying makes a lot of sense. Certainly I'm sure there are some "good" reasons out there for why it happens.

I'm currently blinded by the situation right in front of my eyes... where there's a perfectly healthy, financially stable parent who plain and simple isn't interested in taking care of their child. Kinda breaks my heart when I see that there are a lot of people out there who would LIKE to be there for their kids and for whatever reason can't, or people who really desperately want children but aren't able to make it happen for biological/financial reasons.

Sigh!

[magpieinthesky.livejournal.com]

You're right. It is hard, and in that situation, I have no clue where that motivation/lack of motivation comes from... but it has to come from somewhere, right? And in the case that you're describing, I don't know that there are programs out there to address that, which is really sad and frustrating.

I don't know either! :(

[secondmezzanine.livejournal.com]

P.S. Awwwwwwwwwww, thanks for the giftie! So cuuuuute.

[magpieinthesky.livejournal.com]

You're welcome! I hadn't gotten lj_news before this, so I had missed out on gifting opportunities before this time. I was determined to take part!

Also, I think squirrels are adorable :D

[secondmezzanine.livejournal.com]

ACK ANNE OF GREEN GABLES

Also, I agree. In fourth grade I was president of the Big Big Squirrel Club. Which was... a made up club for people who liked squirrels, I guess. Oh, elementary school.

[magpieinthesky.livejournal.com]

I KNOW RIGHT!?!? I LOVE ANNE OF GREEN GABLES FAR MORE THAN IS HEALTHY.

P.S. I TOTALLY CALL GILBERT! ::runs away cackling::

[secondmezzanine.livejournal.com]

ANNE OF GREEN GABLES IS THE SHIT, THAT IS ALL I HAVE TO SAY

Oh, except... you can't just HAVE Gilbert Blythe! No fair! We can share.